The gifts of Therapy.

Letting go of the past.

Therapy has a lot of gifts. One of those gifts is: Letting go of the past. How do we

achieve that? By releasing the pain caused by parents and teachers.

What happened in the past? When we were younger—children—we had no control over

what happened to us. The children don't have the power to change their reality. So,

what do they do? They blame themselves.

These children grow up unhappy with their reality. They become stuck in the past, and

instead of blaming their parents, they often blame themselves. They tell themselves:

“There must be something wrong with me.”

This can be summed up in three words: Negative Self-Talk. Sadly, this is how negative

self-talk is created. These children, while playing outside or going to school, carry with

them a negative voice in their minds saying, “Something is wrong with me.”

For example, in my own case, by third grade the school had convinced me that I was

stupid. Of course, that wasn’t true. The reality was that I was very smart and yet the

school didn't know how to educate me. And yet, there I was—a smart child—walking

around with negative self-talk, telling myself: “I’m stupid. I’m not successful.” We all

know that when we repeat negative self-talk over and over, it becomes our reality.

What’s the point of trying to succeed in school when I know I’m stupid?

Children grow up this way. This is a sad reality I see repeatedly in therapy with my

patients.

Later in life, these children realize they need help. Many come to my therapy sessions

because they struggle with success in their relationships, careers, raising their children,

or making money.

In such cases, the goal of therapy is to identify the negative self-talk, help the person let

go of it, and replace it with positive, encouraging self-talk.